Chaos

"My life is so chaotic. I feel like nothing is going right. My whole world is crashing down." I looked at her with sorry eyes. I truly felt like nothing was going right and she was the only one I could talk to who understood what it was like to have their world fall apart. What do you do when your life falls apart? Do you sit back and watch it crash and burn in front of you? I know I do. She tells me it's a coping mechanism, but I don't believe her. How is sitting back and doing nothing a coping mechanism? After zoning off for what seemed like ten minutes, I realized she was talking to me.

"You need to find comfort in the chaos. Realize what is happening and that you can't control it. You need to stop trying to control everything in your life and until you realize that, you're never going to be happy."

"I'm trying I really am, but it's so freaking hard when all I want to do is make sure everything in my life goes perfectly."

She looked at me the way no one wants to be looked at. She had hopelessness written all over her face. I could tell she didn't know what to do with me. In reality, no one does. I'm just a broken doll looking to be glued back together.