An Open Letter To My Mother

As a little girl, I would memorize the sound of your truck pulling into the driveway and the way your keys jangled together before you walked into the house, and it was my favorite sound. It meant my best friend was finally home. You say we were "attached at the hip" and I was your shadow. As years went on, we slowly drifted apart, or that's what it felt like, but we are slowly becoming best friends again. I grew up and became the woman you taught me to be. Instead of being six years old and eating my oatmeal at the table while you got ready for work. Now I'm almost 20 and I sit in front of my window to do my makeup so you can drive me to college. Crazy isn't it? Time flew by so fast, but yet again, you are my best friend. It's more than that though, you've given me so many intangible gifts and lessons I can appreciate and apply to my life forever.

You taught me how to be strong. You taught me that life will throw you some tough situations and how I choose to handle it will determine the outcome. I've seen you go through so much in my years of being alive, and I hope to handle things the way you have always done: fearlessly and gracefully. Instead of letting me sit and pout about things (which let's be honest, I was very good at), you taught me that I cannot change the situation and it'd be more beneficial to just let it go. In the past year, this is something you've reminded me of time and time again. It helped me to rise above the circumstance.

You taught me it's okay to cry. You taught me that it's okay to have emotions and to express them. There's times I've cried myself to sleep at three in the morning with the fear that I would wake you up from being so loud. There's times I've broken down in front of you and I know you've had no idea what to do, but thank you for helping me through those times.  It's okay to not be okay sometimes, and thankfully, you've never walked away from being in my corner.

Beyond these lessons, you've taught me what it looks like to struggle and work your way from the ground up, to be powerful and beautiful despite what life may throw at you. You are my role model, my inspiration, and my hero. If I didn't have you, God knows where I'd be today.

Thank you for always being my best friend, the ear to listen to all my gossip, the protector of my heart against the absolute dumbest boys, the jokester to lift me when I need to smile, and the biggest pain in the butt that I could have ever imagined possible. Thank you for pushing me when I wanted to give up, even though I fought you on it. Thank you for being you.